I need to invent a department at a major record label where my only responsibility is to think of band names for new artists. These young whippersnappers THINK they have cool names like Greta Van Fleet or Twenty One Pilots. Nope! I can think of 5,983 better ones in an hour or two.
Here are ten new bands who will be releasing albums soon from my independent label White Powder Records. When my indie label gets swallowed up by Universal Music Group later this year, I’ll suggest this new position for myself in the corporation (Artist Monicker and Creative Development Liason).
These are the latest band names I just thought of 5 minutes ago. I have about 7,34,221 others kicking around in my head, but I thought I’d share these today. I’ve included the band name and the title of their first album:
The Variants - Live! From India, The UK, and Brazil
Covid Idiots - Super Manspreaders.
The Unmasked - Trust Us
The Lab Leak Hypothesis - The CCP Sessions
The Nu Normals - Back At The Office
Impending Doom! - See Dee See
The Science - Believe in us!
Gain Of Funk Shun - More Bad Ideas
The Moving Goalposts - Songs about shifting narratives
Social Distancers - Nothing Really Matters
Do you have others you could recommend? I promise you 10% of the proceeds from the sales of our LPs, cassettes, or 8 tracks.
Plexiglass Barriers - Yeah, That’ll Work!
The Nu Studdies - Cherry-picked Data
Apocalypso Now - Rising Hospitalizations
The Batshit Crazies: Who Knew They'd Fall For It?
Mask Up! - Muzzled
The Lyars - We’re All In This Together
HOAX - 15 More Days To Flatten The Curve
The Final Solutions - Hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin or Bleach?
The Blogospherics: Bias Confirmation is a Click Away
Seedy Sea: Medley of Our Greatest Hit
The Zuckerberg/Dorsey Orchestra: (operetta) What If They Could Do This On Their Phones?
Don Corleone & Bigger Than US Steel: They Come After What You Love
Creepy Uncle Joe: The Basement Tapes
Barmaids & Bigamists: How To Succeed in Politics Without Really Trying
The 60s-Reenactment Society: Struggle Envy
The Approval Junkies: Epidemiology of the Retweet
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/7-words-for-lying/perjure
Ananias & the Prevaricators: (cover of) Would I Lie To You?
These are great words!
The Fabulists - Songs About Moral Panics
UBI: In the Future, Everything Will Be Free
Green New Deal: Holodomor In Our Time
The Cryptocurrents: Wattage Without End
Bipartisan Solution: Perceptions, Not Results
The Antiracists: Never Forgive The Honky
The Squad: Karl Marx Was a Trans Green Jihadist
Damn, these are good!
The Newsom-Whitmer Project: Do As I Say, Not As I Do
Viral Urban Legend: Bat Caves & Lab Leaks
Century of Stupid: If You Just Believe
Public Health Crisis: Not Everything is About You
Operation Warp Speed: The Placebo Sessions
The Wikiknowitalls: We Have It On Good Authority
The Fearmongers of Opportunity: Lock Up Your Children
Until Further Notice: Only the Beginning
The CuomoSexuals: How To Profit Off Of A Pandemic
The Newsom-Whitmer Project: Do As I Say, Not As I Do - ahahaha!! Perfect.
The Ballot Harvesters: Vote Early, Vote Often