Karen DeCrow, who passed away in 2014, was president of the National Organization for Women from 1974 – 1977. This was a turbulent period in which she helped lead campaigns for the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment and against sex discrimination in education and sports. She was an ardent supporter of shared parenting during that time and after.

She was a writer, a lawyer, and a tireless campaigner for women’s rights. In 1979, she wrote a letter to the New York Times in which she said that “women will not gain power in the workplace until they cede power in the nursery.” DeCrow also championed men’s rights as fathers, arguing for a “rebuttable presumption” of shared custody after divorce.

DeCrow worked with the Fathers’ Rights Association of New York State and joined the Children’s Rights Council board, a pro-joint custody group. Before she passed, she was on the Leading Women for Shared Parenting board. Ironically, one of her fellow Leading Women for Shared Parenting board members was her old nemesis Phyllis Schlafly, whom DeCrow frequently debated on college campuses in the 1980s and 1990s.

Divorce and sole child custody are generally bad for mothers and children. DeCrow never shied away from taking a position that mothers should give up their role as the sole caregivers and hand part of it to fathers, freeing them to gain absolute equality in the workplace. This position made sense in the 1970s and still makes sense today.

DeCrow framed her position on equal parenting as a feminist one. She argued men who are more involved in parenting are essential if women are to achieve equality in other pursuits. Many feminists have endorsed this idea regarding equal parental leave or shared responsibility for housework and child care; Gloria Steinem once said, “women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.” But few feminists were, and still are, unwilling to be an ally with fathers or feud with mothers who, out of spite, demand sole custody.

Unfortunately, Karen DeCrow was the last NOW president to hold such sensible and reasonable views. I have yet to find any feminist organization supporting an equal parenting bill. Most have opposed them in each state they are presented. To this day, NOW opposes shared parenting because it’s somehow “forced” on mothers.

Little has changed since DeCrow led NOW. Mothers would still do better in every way if parenting, post-divorce, were equally shared between them and fathers. Feminist organizations’ invariable opposition to shared parenting is suspect.

The next time an angry feminist points to a dictionary and accuses you of not understanding what feminism even means, ask these questions; if feminists believe so fervently in equality, why do they oppose shared parenting? How will women ever be equal outside the home if men are not equal in it?

Opposing shared parenting means opposing equality.

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Clayton is the founder and publisher of the social and political commentary newsletter Think Things Through and the host of the Think Things Through Podcast.

Twitter: @claytoncraddock

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