What Good Are Fathers?
Fathers play critical role in the development and rearing of children. They must not be undervalued.
Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash
Mother's Day is one of the calendar's biggest national 'holidays.' It's been drilled into our heads repeatedly how great mothers can be. Mothers are nurturing, caring, and loving. Kids can't live without them. Moms are the best.
Who do you see people thanking at awards shows? Moms! Hey, I’m all for thanking moms, especially if they were highly supportive. I know mine certainly was - but my father was just as supportive. There is a big difference in the way my father supported me, and I see a similar dynamic between my ex-wife and me and our parenting styles.
A few years after I divorced my ex-wife, I asked a few people I knew a question I had difficulty answering: what benefits do fathers bring to child rearing that mothers generally don't? What good are they?
I have done plenty of research since I asked that question and found many answers:
Involved fathers are more likely to raise emotionally secure, confident children eager to explore their surroundings. These kids have better social connections with their peers as they grow older. Children with fathers in the home are also less likely to get in trouble at home, at school, or in their neighborhoods.
Infants who receive high levels of affection from their fathers are more securely attached; that is, they can explore their environment comfortably when a parent is nearby and readily accept comfort from their parent after a brief separation. Several studies suggest they also are more sociable and popular with other children throughout early childhood.
The way fathers play with their children impacts a child's emotional and social development, which in turn helps children learn how to regulate their feelings and behaviors. Fathers generally spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activities than mothers. Roughhousing with an involved dad can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions.
Children who grow up with involved fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them and more likely to exhibit self-control and pro-social behavior. Fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world. Fathers generally push achievement, while mothers stress nurturing, which is essential to the healthy development of young children.
A good relationship between children and fathers leads to kids who are less likely to experience depression, exhibit disruptive behavior, or lie - and are more likely to show pro-social behavior. Boys with involved fathers have fewer school behavior problems, and girls generally have higher self-esteem.
Furthermore, children who live with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, achieve academically, and avoid drugs, violence, and delinquent behavior.
Fathers have a powerful and positive impact on the development and health of children.
Why do we need fathers? Please look at the communities where fathers are lacking in the home or community and compare them to those with more active fathers. Let me know what you see with your own eyes, then ask the question again; what good are fathers?
Clayton is the founder and publisher of the social and political commentary newsletter Think Things Through and the host of the Think Things Through Podcast.
Twitter: @claytoncraddock