What Does 'Man Up' Really Mean?
See also: “Grow a pair,” “Be a man,” and “Stop acting like a girl.”
Has the phrase ‘man up’ outlived its usefulness? To many, these two words may seem harmless. People often say 'man up' when suggesting a man be strong or show less emotion, but maybe the phrase implies one can be more or less of a man based on behavior.
What does it mean? Does 'man-up' suggest suppress their feelings and plow through the tough times in their life? Does it mean men should correct problems that appear easily correctable, move on, and get over it? People assume this phrase refers to men not behaving like adults--those young men who aren't responsible, honest, or respectful.
'Man up' seems to be a tactic often used by apathetic cynics who respond to serious and complex problems with meaningless punchlines, buzzwords & catchphrases.
The phrase 'man-up' has origins in the sublanguage of American football, where it originally referred to man-to-man defense. It subsequently took on a more general idea of resilience in the face of adversity. Similar phrases exist like sack up, nut up and even cowboy up (which has its origins in rodeo). There's also Yiddish mensch up, which lies somewhere at the intersection of being courageous and having strong moral principles.
Maybe we should redefine that term because many young males have no idea what it takes to be a man or how to 'man up.' Most young men never had a father growing up, nor have they seen a positive male role model in their lives. Maybe we should suggest a person work on their maturity instead of saying that they should act more manly. 'Grow up' could be a good substitute. It can apply to men or women in a variety of situations. It removes gender from the equation and focuses instead on highlighting behaviors that might be immature or in some way undesirable.
We need to address how both men and women struggle to communicate with one another about the things that matter. For all those who may point out the good in 'man up,' here are some healthier alternatives:
Be brave.
Be strong.
Keep the faith.
You can do this.
These are positive ways to give strength to people who need it, without resorting to language that implies strength being confined to archaic ideas of masculinity. Further, we should begin addressing the negative ways in which ‘man up’ is used.
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Something Interesting:
Clayton Craddock is a father, independent thinker, and the founder and publisher of the social and political commentary newsletter Think Things Through and host of the Think Things Through Podcast. He's an alumnus of Howard University and is the drummer for the Broadway musical Ain't Too Proud - The Life and Times Of The Temptations.
Other musicals include: "Tick, tick…BOOM!, Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical, and Lady Day At Emerson's Bar and Grill. Also, Clayton has worked on: Footloose, Motown, The Color Purple, Rent, Little Shop of Horrors, Spongebob Squarepants, The Musical, Evita, Cats, and Avenue Q.
Follow him on Instagram, Twitter or read more on his website: claytoncraddock.com
These are positive ways to give strength to people who need it, without resorting to language that implies strength being confined to archaic ideas of masculinity. Further, we should begin addressing the negative ways in which ‘man up’ is used.
I'm not at all sure that "man up" refers to an archaic idea of masculinity. I think that thought is yielding to pressure from today's definitions of social correctness and oversensitivity to any reference to male traits. It is entirely possible, and correct, to address the negative ways terms like cockpit are used without pretending there are no differences between men and women.