As I got older, I made sure I called my parents at least once a week. I called for special occasions and simply because I wanted to hear their voices. I understood how old they were and exactly how short life truly is. I tried to keep in contact because you never know when someone will be gone.
The good thing about life today is knowing I can still talk to my father. I visited him last week to celebrate his 85th birthday. He’s still alive and kicking and doing relatively well.
My mom? A different story.
In the fall of 2018, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. She died in April of 2019. I spent as much time as I possibly could with her over the past few years because I knew her time was limited. Once I knew she was fading away, I did all I could to be close to her.
One thing I made sure I accomplished before she passed was to get her to see my new show, Ain’t Too Proud at the Imperial Theatre. She and my father made it. I was choked up at the finale because I knew this was the last time she’d see me perform.
My mom was always supportive of my drumming. She drove me to my drum lessons back in the mid-’70s and bought me my first professional drum set back in 1999. She was there for me for so many things, and I was glad to see her make it to NYC even though she was weak and in a wheelchair.
Lenny Kravitz—5.
I feel it’s, by far, his best and most consistent album. One of my favorites is the song “Thinking Of You.”
When the album was released in 1998, I was not thinking about folks around me dying. I was working hard at becoming a full-time musician and was having a ball as a single man in New York City. As I got older, some close friends died, and life happened. I certainly have become much more thoughtful and aware of the fragility of life. Nowadays, I take very little for granted and do my best to enjoy each minute as it comes.
When I heard this song, I found it haunting. Lenny wrote it as a tribute to his mother, who had recently passed. I always liked the tune and often thought of my mother while listening to Lenny’s lyrics.
After she died in 2019, I was in my drum booth at my show, practicing a few things here and there. I decided to try and play along to this Lenny Kravitz tune. Things were going great until the emotions took over. I stopped playing, sat down in a corner, and cried. It was the first time I wept since my mother's passing. It’s weird to me because I feel like I should cry a lot more. Maybe it’s my way of grieving.
I often smile when I see pictures of my mother. I do the same when I view the private videos I’ve taken over the years. They seem to bring me joy.
This song brings me sorrow. I guess it’s the realization that I can’t call her to wish her a happy birthday today, or speak with her ever again.
Today would have been her 87th birthday (August 10th).
I have been thinking of her a lot.
Yes, I’m thinking of her, and all the things she wanted me to be...and I’m trying now.
Clayton Craddock is an independent thinker, father of two beautiful children in New York City. He is the drummer of the hit broadway musical Ain’t Too Proud. He earned a Bachelor of Business Administration from Howard University’s School of Business and is a 25 year veteran of the fast-paced New York City music scene. He has played drums in a number of hit broadway and off-broadway musicals including “Tick, tick…BOOM!, Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical and Lady Day At Emerson’s Bar and Grill. In addition, Clayton has worked on: Footloose, Motown, The Color Purple, Rent, Little Shop of Horrors, Evita, Cats, and Avenue Q.